Some movies feel like they are trying too hard. You know precisely the lesson it is trying to teach or the social commentary direction to expect. We need to save the planet. Give the guy from childhood a chance. Don't give up on your dreams.
Now, I am not saying these lessons are bad. I soak it all in no matter how predictable it may be after the first 5 minutes. And we really do need to save the planet.
However, it takes a special kind of movie to really touch your heart in unexpected ways. One of my new favorite movies is now Her, directed by Spike Jonze. I avoided this movie for years because I didn't want to watch a man fall in love with a computer.
I was ready for a story that commented on our lack of human interaction and increasing reliance on technology, to the point of romance. There were elements of this through world-building, as it definitely looks sad to have people only talking to their phones all day, instead of those around them. This world didn't seem too far off from our current society, a bit of a wake-up call to what our future could be... scary.
But the romance between Theodore and Samantha, his operating system, isn't meant to be scary. Theodore isn't even crazy for falling for her. It is real. And it is honestly beautiful.
The acting, score, and writing are so stunning and raw. You really get to watch Theodore fall in love, and believe it. Without getting too personal, I really connected to his solo scenes of loneliness and interaction with Samantha. The pandemic forced seemingly endless months of online social interaction on us. I spent hours on the phone with new friends and LA connections, without ever meeting in person. Those relationships were just as real to me as friends from high school, even though I couldn't hug them or physically spend time together.
Even the dynamics of machine learning had emotional takeaways, as Samantha says, "The heart’s not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love." We are not confined by the pasts that hurt us or the future fears. Just like the Grinch, maybe our heart has the ability to expand and be filled with love and more love and even more.
I think this movie is about joy, and that love can still be beautiful even if it doesn't last. You can appreciate what a love has meant, what it teaches, and how it grows. You can also appreciate, or at least understand, when it ends. We don't always get to hold on to the most beautiful things. But joy is holding on to every minute of the beauty while we can.
Amy says, "You know what, I can over think everything and find a million ways to doubt myself. And since Charles left I've been really thinking about that part of myself and, I've just come to realize that, we're only here briefly. And while I'm here, I wanna allow myself joy."
I've already alluded to too much of the end, but this movie will always remind me of the power of loneliness, the joy of companionship, and the beauty in love (and in letting love go).
As I write about Her, I am listening to a song by Daniel Ceasar with H.E.R. It was only fitting to do so and share this section.
"I just wanna see
I just wanna see how beautiful you are
You know that I see it
I know you're a star
Where you go I follow
No matter how far
If life is a movie
Oh you're the best part"
-Daniel Ceasar and H.E.R.
Theodore just wants to see how beautiful Samantha is, but doesn't need to have a physical body to attribute her to. She is beautiful to him already.
If life is a collection of movies, this one may be the best part.
xfight on
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